At least make sure they are 18
Why
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My penis needs a shock collar
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
