we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
