FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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