i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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