I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
