actually, I'm a sock model
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
