Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
