i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
