i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
