I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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