I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
