then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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