Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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