No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
