my phone needs a breathalizer
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
