Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
