She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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