You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
