she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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