Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
