if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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