Can Purell be used as lube?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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