New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
