? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
