Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
