dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
