my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
2020 sucks, I want a refund
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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