You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
