You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
