Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
