new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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