Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
