you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
