I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
