my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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