I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
