I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
