I bet he comes in French.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
