i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
