dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
