thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
