so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
