All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
