I'm really into asian looking animals
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
