it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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