no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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