Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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