med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
wow bdsm is so cute
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
