my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
