How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
