you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
