Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
