what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Someone shattered a urinal.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
